• me talking to little kids: oh hey man wow I like your shoes they light up! No way I wish I had some like that, I bet they make you run so fast!!
  • me talking to older people: I'm not really sure what it is I want to do with my life, but I figure that as long as I'm happy it can't be that bad
  • me talking to people my age: well howdily doodily my fellow young people, what's hip hop happening over here? I'm just off to inject a meth and listen to an MTV if you youngsters are 'down' also haha look at that lingo, golly gosh what a time to be alive

dogpuncher:

i am currently suffering from severe lack of kisses, please donate to my cause

(Source: boinymph, via urgently)

kwikemart:

i envision a relationship with every single person i find attractive and i need to stop doing that cause its getting my hopes up for nothing and making me sad

(via asvprock)

officialwhitegirls:

fake-ketchup:

Why don’t astronauts just visit the sun at night?

um obviously because it will be too dark to see anything, there’s no point, also because the sun is trying to sleep we wouldn’t want to disturb it

(via urgently)

dogalyst:

idk i really like being called cute but i also really like hearing that you masturbate to the thought of me idk

(via urgently)